I am being stalked by storks. They are everywhere. Standing in the meadow, by the lakeside, near the river, or just on the side of the road, they are staring at me. I know what they want to bring me, and there is nothing I want more. But it proves to be a more difficult road than we had hoped it to be.
Our journey started in February 2012. I had been on birth control for more then ten years and we waited out one natural cycle. I immediately fell pregnant the next cycle (Cycle #1) and we saw a heartbeat at six weeks. Unfortunately, when I was in my tenth week, I miscarried and we lost our baby, who apparently had stopped developing shortly after my first ultrasound. The second cycle (Cycle #2) after my miscarriage I fell pregnant again. It turned out to be a biochemical pregnancy. The very next cycle (Cycle #3) I went through the same thing. My gynaecologist then prescribed me progesterone supplements, but that cycle (Cycle #4) became my third consecutive early loss.
We actively tried to conceive four times now and I fell pregnant each time. We went through the joy and excitement of having positive home pregnancy tests every time. We also went through loss and grief every time. I have no clue what is wrong with me, I just know that the feelings of despair and guilt have been growing with each loss. A full blood work has been done and nothing came up. Semen analysis revealed normal count, and motility and morphology slightly below average. My gynaecologist still believes things are naturally doable. At this point we have unexplained infertility.
I decided to start this blog because I know how comforting it can be to read about pregnancy loss and the journey to conceive to other women who have gone through the same situation. I hope I can be of help.
Cycle #5 September 07, 2012 – October 05, 2012 | Early loss
Cycle #6 October 05, 2012 – November 05, 2012 | No conception
Cycle #7 November 05, 2012 – December 01, 2012 | No conception
Cycle #8 December 01, 2012 – January 07, 2013 | Early loss
Cycle #9 January 07, 2013 | I have no idea what to do.
Eight cycles of trying, six pregnancies, six losses…